Billy And The Boingers - I'm A Boinger - Eva-Tone Soundsheets - 1987

I was kinda surprised at the quality of the A side of this flexi-disc, considering that I enjoyed Bloom County comic strips about as much as Cathy or Rex Morgan MD. Until today, I thought this and Doonesbury were the same comic. Prior to publication of the book the flexi was included in, a contest was held to send in songs as though they were written by the fictional band Billy and the Boingers (formerly Deathtöngue). First place went to The Harry Pitts Band for 'I'm A Boinger.' I get the feeling this band was either formed by some musically-inclined fans just for this contest, or were hired to ensure the "winning" song was actually decent.

Supposedly the Boingers were supposed to be a gag about heavy metal in the late 80's, but the first song sounds like it was made by people who don't know what heavy metal is, and it probably saves the song. The B side on the other hand, U-Stink-But-I-♥-You, was written and played by actual crossover thrash band 'Mucky Pup.' Musically and comedically, it doesn't do it for me. Apparently it was a fan favourite and they made a video for it which I can only assume is about as funny as the comic that inspired the song.


Geiger - Je Ne Suis Pas Bien Portant / Je Suis Punky - Barclay - 620 518 - 1978

On the A-side, it's yet another French oldie re-done, and vastly improved à la Plastic Bertrand. Translated to something like 'I Am Not Well,' the song mostly lists a variety of symptoms. Je Suis Punky has some pretty amusing lyrics as well. Below are some of them translated poorly. Nearly everything else the team of songwriters did outside of this record was pretty dull disco and funk, with only two points of interest I could find.

I am punky
I flip from evening to morning
I am punky
I am an evil thug
I pull the chain on all the babes
Who come for a ride on my motorbike
I am punky
I am full sexy
I'm punk

I want women
Women, always women
I want to go crazy
I want them to violate me
I broke out like a beast
My bed is a factory
I am a machine
I do two somersaults
And the girls take off

I am punky
I was born to bop
I am punky
My sex will crack
I'm on my knees
I have more spirit
I'm like a madman
I create the mob
I am punky
But I made myself clear
I am a c**t