Billy And The Boingers - I'm A Boinger - Eva-Tone Soundsheets - 1987

I was kinda surprised at the quality of the A side of this flexi-disc, considering that I enjoyed Bloom County comic strips about as much as Cathy or Rex Morgan MD. Until today, I thought this and Doonesbury were the same comic. Prior to publication of the book the flexi was included in, a contest was held to send in songs as though they were written by the fictional band Billy and the Boingers (formerly Deathtöngue). First place went to The Harry Pitts Band for 'I'm A Boinger.' I get the feeling this band was either formed by some musically-inclined fans just for this contest, or were hired to ensure the "winning" song was actually decent.

Supposedly the Boingers were supposed to be a gag about heavy metal in the late 80's, but the first song sounds like it was made by people who don't know what heavy metal is, and it probably saves the song. The B side on the other hand, U-Stink-But-I-♥-You, was written and played by actual crossover thrash band 'Mucky Pup.' Musically and comedically, it doesn't do it for me. Apparently it was a fan favourite and they made a video for it which I can only assume is about as funny as the comic that inspired the song.


Geiger - Je Ne Suis Pas Bien Portant / Je Suis Punky - Barclay - 620 518 - 1978

On the A-side, it's yet another French oldie re-done, and vastly improved à la Plastic Bertrand. Translated to something like 'I Am Not Well,' the song mostly lists a variety of symptoms. Je Suis Punky has some pretty amusing lyrics as well. Below are some of them translated poorly. Nearly everything else the team of songwriters did outside of this record was pretty dull disco and funk, with only two points of interest I could find.

I am punky
I flip from evening to morning
I am punky
I am an evil thug
I pull the chain on all the babes
Who come for a ride on my motorbike
I am punky
I am full sexy
I'm punk

I want women
Women, always women
I want to go crazy
I want them to violate me
I broke out like a beast
My bed is a factory
I am a machine
I do two somersaults
And the girls take off

I am punky
I was born to bop
I am punky
My sex will crack
I'm on my knees
I have more spirit
I'm like a madman
I create the mob
I am punky
But I made myself clear
I am a c**t


Shrink - Valid Or Void - A&M Records - AMS7409 - 1979

David (a.k.a Chris) Banks left northern England in 1977, and headed to London to audition for 'The Secret.' The lead singer was Mickey Modern, the bassist was Benny Leopard, the drummer was Percy Cute, and two guitarists were taken on, Reggie Mental (Dave Murray of Iron Maiden), and Banks, now known as Shrink. The Secret set up a showcase for A&M records hoping for a record deal, so, unsure of Shrink's skill, they replaced him with a session guitarist. They then asked Shrink to be the support act for the showcase, possibly hoping he'd only make them look better. Instead, Shrink got a standing ovation and an A&M record deal. After the show, David recalls that a member of The Secret met him backstage saying he didn't know whether to shake his hand or smack him in the mouth. Apparently, they underestimated his performance ability, which incorporated gold face paint and silver bodysuits. One fan recalls that when he went to see Shrink in London of 1979, it was heavily attended by punks. When Shrink took the stage the punks gathered to the floor and began to bow to Shrink. In another account of a show at Phillippa Fawcett College in Streatham, attendees watched Shrink stop singing mid-song, and after what I imagine was an uncomfortable moment of silence, he burst into tears. "As the sobs got louder and his body convulsed, nobody knew whether to help him out, look the other way or laugh." This confusion is confirmed by the fact that at times in his performances he appears to be in agony. Shrink also made a cameo appearance auditioning/guitar smashing for 'Breaking Glass' in the movie of the same name.


Chris Spedding And The Vibrators - Pogo Dancing - RAK - 2C.006-98449 - 1977

Chris Spedding was a jazz guitarist turned session musician, and appeared on several interesting (and way more not-so-interesting) recordings throughout the 70s. I've only listed a handful, mostly those related to library, novelty, junkshop glam or 'punk.'

1972: Played guitar and wrote a song for Standard Music Library - Small Group Pop. The Spedding-penned song appears in the movie Serpico.

1973: Played bass on first LP by comedy trio the Goodies.

1973: Chris becomes the guitarist for Mike Batt's novelty creation, The Wombles. Apparently, when playing "live," the Wombles suits contained actual musicians. Chris Spedding as Wellington brought his trademark white Flying V guitar to the character.

1974: Teamed up with songwriter Mike Batt again to play guitar for a recording credited to Top Of The Pops dance troupe 'Pan's People' called 'You Can Really Rock And Roll Me.'

1975: Played guitar on theme song to music TV show 'Supersonic'.

1975: Played guitar on loads of Kenny songs. It makes sense that session musicians would have been used, since the band, formerly 'Chuff,' was hired to become 'Kenny' in order to milk some more from Tony Kenny's earlier success.

1976: In October Chris Spedding teamed up with the Vibrators to record 'Pogo Dancing' and 'The Pose' and while they were at it, he played guitar on their first A-side 'We Vibrate.'

Pogo Dancing on Supersonic:

Chris Spedding also has numerous production credits, but I'm only listing the few that interest me at the moment.

1976: Chris produced some demos for the Sex Pistols in which he wanted to highlight the ability of the rhythm section, especially Matlock's bass. He felt that muddy recordings were used by poor musicians to cover their flaws, and that his goal for these demos was to prove that this band could actually play their instruments. The Sex Pistols and McLaren decided it was better to sound like they couldn't play their instruments, so the demos were rejected and only released on bootlegs.

1979: Chris produced some demos for 'The Cramps' but Lux and Ivy thought they sounded too polished, so they've only been released on bootlegs.

Another TV appearance:

Live version recorded Friday, March 13, 1981 at Trax in NYC and released on 'Friday The 13th' LP:

From a 1977 interview:
""I'd appreciate it if you played down the punk rock thing," he says mildly, looking at me out of the corners of his soft brown eyes. "I don't want people to think that I'm leaping onto a bandwagon, when I can stand on my own two feet."
SURPRISING words for someone whose latest claim to fame-or notoriety is his involvement with the Vibrators, one of the new wave bands. "Pogo Dancing," their single, is threatening the charts right now. So dammit all, Spedding, explain yourself.
"Well first of all the Vibrators aren't really a punk band anyway. They're too old for one thing - one of them is thirty-two.""


Ishmael United - If You Can't Shout Saved You'll Have To Face The Penalty - Kingsway Music - 1979

Ishmael is a bible character and is also the pun version of Ian Smale's name. Ian started out in Ian & Andy, the Andy being Andy Piercy of After The Fire, who also produced this record. I guess since the theme of this record in title and appearance is soccer, the band name he went with for this record is Ishmael United. The music on the record emulates punk here and there, but also has some ska and pop-rock. Apparently he also made another LP the same year as Rev Counta and the Speedoze and a solo 7" of a strange electronic version of 'The Glories,' which is done differently on the Ishmael United LP.


The Golant Pistons - Gorilla Suite - Rock Extra / Changing Seasons Of Rock - Selected Sound 9099 / ST 134 - 1982

It appears that the Golant Pistons included Tony Cox, Al Hodge, Bunk Dogger and a drummer credited as Foxy. My guess is that Tony Cox, who did some arrangements for UK records boss/convicted sex offender Jonathan King, was Bunk Dogger's connection to releasing his first (and best?) solo record. Bunk Dogger is also credited with playing guitar on a song on the Tone Deaf and the Idiots' Catastrophe Rock LP. He wrote all the songs on the 'Changing Seasons Of Rock' LP, and 'Gorilla Suite - Rock Extra' contains most of the same songs, with a few Cox numbers thrown in. Both were released on library music label Selected Sound. One song on both LPs is described on the back as 'fast heavy rock with electric guitar solo,' and is called Hunter Killer.

Most of the other songs on the records are rock revivalism, but synth-pop tune 'People In Advertisements' stands out.

Alan Feanch/Pierre Dutour - T.V Adventure - Crea Sound 46554 / Mondiophone MON 54 - 1980

Pierre Dutour is responsible for some interesting library music under that name as well as his Ted Atking alias, but the two versions of 'Fanatical Punk' found on this library record are far more utilitarian. At least the title track is good.


Enter 'O Clisma ‎- M'Aggio Accattato Nu Tavuto / 'A Ditta Protesta - GEB - CD 5019 - 1978

This "band" is either named after the high priest character from a 1928 Italian poem 'Ifigonia in Culide,' or is named 'Enema,' the possible English translation of enteroclisma, or both. One song title translates into 'I Bought Myself A Coffin' and the other to something like 'A Firm Protest.' At least one part of the sleeve didn't require translation, the words 'Neapolitan Punk' are written fairly small on the front. Combine that with the band name, song titles and the nails-in-your-face-biting-a-skull-in-chains cover art and one might expect a different sounding record. The songwriting credit goes to Adelmo (or Nino) Buonocore. Prior to the Enter O'Clisma releases, he wrote songs for others and for his own vocal recording persona Adelmo Ferrari. And in 1978 and onwards, he used the name Nino Buonocore, at first doing some soundtrack work and taking a stab at new wave by hiring London band Live Wire for his first LP.


Chrys Alice - Qu'Est C' Que J' Deviens Dans Tout Ça - Carissima 2097 984 - 1979

This record shares writing credits with Yocki, Bigoudis and the B side to Charlotte Julian's Queen of Punks record, although in this case Chrys Alice sounds more deserving of that title, but only if Yocki is crowned king.


Yocki - 10 Heurs Du Matin / Bobby - Fly F.20.744 - 1980

 I suspect this was written by Michel Delancray (credited here as De Lancret) a.k.a Serge Charoff, another library composer responsible for Chrys Alice's 'Qu'Est C' Que J' Deviens Dans Tout Ça' who also worked with the folks at Carissima responsible for the Bigoudis record, although this is much better. Both sides heavily emulate Plastic Bertrand and if the pants and the pose on the sleeve or the Chippendale's insert didn't reveal how vanilla this record is, the lyrics surely do. A nice touch is the fan club info and the font of fingers.

Some lyrics for 10 Heurs Du Matin:

It's ten in the morning
And I take my coffee
And I do nothing
I'm a slacker
I'm like a golden butterfly
I do not work
But I sing for my friends

And for Bobby:

Oh my dog ​​is loyal
Especially when I'm angry
He always tells me the same way:
Wow wow! I'm Bobby
This is a really very nice little poodle
Especially when I say "lie down"
He replied as follows:
Wow wow! I'm Bobby


Telescope - Bye Byes (Ain't Nice) - Pentagon Records ‎PENT 5 - 1977

Some Telescope records included a glossy insert with a picture of Telescope himself. The keen observer would notice that the person pictured is also on the Italian sleeve for 'The Crunch' by RAH Band and is the keyboardist for RAH Band's Top Of The Pops performance. Apparently, this air-keyboardist is Andy Clark who played with Be-Bop Deluxe among others and wrote a string of KPM library music records.

Carlo Trenta & The Demons - Tough Boy, Rock Da Box - CJT Records CJT-130 - 1981

Carlo Trenta (a.k.a Carl J. Trentadue) writes that this album was advertised on NBC 900 times. It features a keyboard player who went on to play with Steppenwolf and a guitar player/songwriter whose career highlights are inclusion on some soundtracks, most notably the animated Transformers movie soundtrack from 1986, a couple of Jean-Claude Van-Damme movies and the Sailor Moon dub. 'Tough Boy, Rock Da Box' has since been re-released digitally under Carl's new moniker, 'Capt. Johnny Rush And The King Chinook Band' and with modified cover art. This is likely due to the fact that Carl now identifies as a Christian and has left the world of demons and semi-nude ladies behind him. What isn't clear is why the reissue calls the first song 'Tough Boy's A Hunk' rather than 'Tough Boy's A Punk.' It's not as though the vocals were re-recorded to accommodate the title change. Perhaps it is just another of the many typos on his fascinating cdbaby page.

The redesigned cover art is littered with cut and paste clippings of fish conservation slogans and seafood company logos. He writes "Captain Johnny Rush and the King Chinook Band will be touring and during their show will be talking about what can be done with the government to clean rivers and increase the number of salmon in our Pacific Ocean, rivers, and lakes. Captain Johnny Rush owns a seafood company. All pictures on the front of the album cover are special dedications to Mr. Trentadue's business associates. None of the pictures are intended to denote sponsorship." Carl recently uploaded a somewhat sleazy music video for 'Wild Cat Woman' from back in the day.


Chaps - Les Roses Blanches / Parlez-Moi D'amour - Philips 6172 056 - 1977

This record only credits the songwriters from the 1920's and 1930's who penned the originals. It's unfortunate, because the production ain't bad, although I'd say I'm most interested learning the identity of the graphic designer. Probably the worst part of this record is the songwriting, and they're the only ones who'll get the royalties for the likely very few times this record was played on the radio since 1977.


Blanchard - Meunier, Tu Es Cocu - Barclay 813 853-7 - 1983

I guess by 1983 even the accordion players decided to have a go at punk. Unfortunately, only Gerard's wristband is studded, not the accordion. This punk version of a public domain french folk song probably didn't cost them much to make, but it was worth it. Luckily the Plastic Bertrand guitar riff drowns out the accordion early on in the song.

The Latin's Punkers - Skate Punk / Dancing Cha Cha - JMN Records ‎5001 - 1978

Why not try to cash in on two fads at once? I imagine whoever came up with this idea was more concerned about how the record looked than how it sounded. Because once someone buys it, they're stuck with it, even if it sounds like Duane Eddy with someone shouting 'punk' over the chorus. As there are a couple grammatical/spelling errors (in the band's name and in a song title on the record) it makes me wish this wasn't instrumental, because some poorly proofread lyrics would have made this a little more interesting to listen to.

Bigoudis - Punk And Roll - Carissima ‎2097 804 - 1979

Hey, that font has nipples on it. Maybe all the nipples is the reason for the alternate sleeve, as this was apparently only released in France. Interestingly, 'Bigoudis' translates into 'Curlers,' as in hair curlers. Two Dominiques (Labarre and Urruty),  who were a pair of library music composers that played with folk-prog outfit Asgard, with Mya Simille, the writer behind Chrys Alice's faux-punk number 'Qu'Est C' Que J' Deviens Dans Tout Ça' put their heads together to come up with this record. It appears they were Carissima staff, because they all appear on the fascinating Carissima comp 'Vous Avez Aime - Indicatifs Radio Et Television Fonds Sonores,' which is full of songs completely different, but more interesting than this one.

Paul Marco & De Bristolstampers - Punk De Funk - Mamicha Music MM 1116 - 1978

Easily, the best thing about this record is the sleeve. A font made of fingers plus a clown with a safety pin through his ear? Looks good to me. Also, a loose translation of 'de Bristolstampers' is 'The Bristol Pistils.' Unfortunately the music is terrible and is neither punk nor funk.


Roberto Fera - Shock Rock - Jezabel Records ‎JR 104 - 1980

This depressed looking Roberto Fera looks a lot like the depressed looking fellow in Eau De Cologne, which he produced, so it probably is him. And I wonder if he's also the "punk guy" pictured on the 'Pretend' single by Souvenir which is also on the Jezabel label. It appears that all of his other music credits are for disco music. And all of his modelling credits are for looking bored and down in the dumps.

Naold 'n Draod - Nettie ('k Zie Oe Geerne) - Safety Pin SRS 510.036 - 1978

This is on Safety Pin records, which would indicate that someone thought this record could fall somewhere in the neighborhood of punk music. I'm not sure how they wanted to convey the record's punk qualities, since the sleeve doesn't seem to indicate anything of the sort. The A side 'Nettie ('k Zie Oe Geerne)' translates as 'Nettie (I Love You) and the B side is apparently a phoenetic spelling of what translates to something like 'Try It Yourself.' Since it's instrumental, I assume they wanted the listener to sing along.


Colin Malice - J'y Pense Et J'oublie Pas - CBS ‎6313 - 1978

Colin Malice was a pseudonym adopted for just one single by two corny pop-singing brothers knows as Les Costa. The A side is a cover of the Carvells' skateboarding-themed 'L.A Run', instead with lyrics about a girl and her four brothers getting in the way. Side B gives half the writing credit to 'swinging mademoiselle' Dominique Cozette and the production to her former boyfriend Patrice Fabien. Patrice, interestingly enough also produced Edith Nylon as well as WC3's 'Poupée Be Bop' and went on to produce a bunch of stuff for the Reflexes label as well as his own Fabien Garage.


Sublime De Luxe - Donne-Moi Ton Corps Juste Pour Le Sport - Flamophone ‎781.807 - 1979

Claude Puterflam was the Le Système Crapoutchik singer and founder of the Flamophone label as well as Studio Gang. Jean Schultheis was a drummer, keyboardist and songwriter on everything from jazz to psychedelic rock, and even made a Tele Music library record. Sublime Deluxe was their first collaboration. Chose Molle, or Soft Thing, is a pretty deadly version of Wild Thing. But, the real winner here is the B side. Donne-Moi Ton Corps Juste Pour Le Sport, roughly translated as Give Me Your Body Just For Sport, has a gross title, but is one of the best Plastic Bertrand rip-offs.


Too Much - Silex Pistols - Pathé 2C 008 14575 - 1978

It appears that a repeat of Plastic Bertrand's success was attempted here, as two people who worked on An 1 were hired to make this record. Two thirds of the Belgian latin-disco trio 'Two Man Sound' Yves Lacomblez and Sylvain Vanholme have writing and production credits on this record. The third member of 'Two Man Sound,' Lou Deprijck, who is allegedly responsible for the vocals on Ca Plane Pour Moi due to an absent Plastic Bertrand wasn't brought in for this record I assume because the label wanted to try a female vocalist angle. Cathy and Cherry Pickels, pictured on the sleeve, wrote the lyrics and sang on this record. Apparently the nickname 'Cathy Too Much' was where the band name came from.

A few lines of Silex Pistols, when poorly translated, say something along the lines of:

"Crazy rock'n'roll girls,
We're the cops to Dan Mac Roll"

I'm not sure what this Dan Mac Roll reference means exactly, but Dan Mac Roll is the singer credited as Dan Dee on one of the (if not thee) first Belgian punk records, Chainsaw's 'See Saw.' Also, Lacomblez mentions that the name 'Athanase' is spoken in the lyrics because he was a real punk and he offered them food if they'd put his name in the song.


Andy Cameron - I Want To Be A Punk Rocker - Klub Records 03 - 1978

Andy Cameron had a football hooligan comedy act and recorded Ally's Tartan Army because Scotland qualified for the world cup. I assume he recorded I Want To Be A Punk Rocker because he was not a fan, as some of the lyrics are:

"I want to be a punk when their music is forgotten
I'll still be there to strangle Johnny Rotten"

Tjot Idi & De Stipkes ‎- Ik Wil Punk - CBS 5848 - 1977

I wonder if any kids bought this and made it all the way home before looking at the back cover. Because if that didn't trigger severe buyer's remorse, then playing the record certainly would have.

De Kuffers - Ik Wil Punk! - Safety Pin ELF 65.129 - 1977

The ELF catalog number would suggest this was actually an Elf Provinciën release, but there are other instances of this Safety Pin label logo with completely different catalog numbers and on different labels, all of which seem to be under the Dureco or Dutch Record Company umbrella.

Ik Wil Punk (I Want Punk) ain't so bad, considering the other output by the writer/producer Adrianus Klaris.


Los Juveniles - Punk Mi Kier Punk - GM 001 - 1978

The band name and the graphics seem promising, but the outfits do a better job preparing you for what the record sounds like.

Cherry Vanilla - The Punk - RCA PB 5053 - 1977

Cherry Vanilla was brought from the US to the UK by The Police's manager, had her former US band members replaced by Sting and Stewart Copeland of The Police, and was supported on tour by the Police.

The Police - Fall Out / Nothing Achieving - Illegal Records IL 001 - 1977

"This was one of the first songs Stewart played me. What they [the songs] lacked in sophistication they made up for in energy. I just went along with them and sang them as hard as I could. No, it wasn't false punk. I mean what's a real punk? Our first record was entirely a tribute to Stewart's energy and focus. The band wouldn't have happened without him."
—Sting, 1993

"It sold purely on the strength of the cover, because of the fashion at the time. Punk was in and it was one of the first punk records – and there weren't very many to choose from. The average punk had every punk record that was available and when the next one came out which was the Police record, he bought that, too. But still I think it was a good record, so it did more than the average punk single."
—Stewart Copeland, 1979

Rick Chauvin & Les Symboles - Bande D' Abrutis - Trema 410 145 - 1980

 In 1980, Yan Sheridan took on the Rick Chauvin alias to sing 'Bande D'Abrutis' or 'Band of Morons.' The song borrows a part from Michel Sardou's 'J'Habite En France' and appears to be complaining that the French are dumb for taking holidays out of country.

Gerard Saban - Super Cool Et Un Peu Punk - Philips 6172 246 - 1979

This single is from Gerard Saban's 'Cinemas' LP, on which he looks very similar to Bob 'The-Joy-Of-Painting' Ross. Translated as 'Super Cool And A Little Punk' this song completely overestimates both how cool and how punk it is. He also does a song called 'Une Fille Genre New-Wave' or 'A New-Wave Kind Of Girl."


Anatole Frantz - Scandale - Sonopresse 2 S 008-16614 - 1978

This record gives credit to Tony Barthele, who seems to have been a library music composer for Patchwork. This was also an alias for Daniel Faure, credited on some Montparnasse library music as well as some neo-classical and some disco soundtracks. Both songs are great, Scandale is the tougher of the two, and the chorus melody of 'Le Monde Est Fou' (The World is Crazy) reminds me of Ca Plane Pour Moi slightly.

King Louis And The Memphis Maffia - The Fuzz On My Bag - Monopole S.1813 - 1978

Someone at Monopole (correctly) thought it would be a good idea to take the music tracks from Ex-Hole's 'Kick Of Stone,' rearrange and remix them slightly, then lay down some snotty vocals about running from the police, a.k.a "cruising 'round the city with the fuzz on my bag" (I assume he meant 'back,' just like I assume they didn't mean to misspell 'mafia' in the name.) The finishing touch was simply to set a synthesizer on 'annoying' and make a police siren. The B-side is the same song sans vocals.

For the sake of comparison, and because it's a great song, Ex-Hole 'Kick Of Stone.'

De Bumpers ‎- Wini Wini Punk - Telstar 2609 - 1977

The best thing about this record is definitely the sleeve. The song starts out with some gang vocals say something to do with punk, then quickly disappoints, turning into an oom-pah tuba, Hawaiian slide guitar song sung like it was meant for a singalong TV show with the little ball bouncing from word to word. It's actually a cover of Wini Wini Wana Wana, a Yves Roche penned Hawaii novelty song. It appears that the Bumpers performed this song on television and it looks like their interpretation of a punk look was to wear makeup and have messy hair.

Noregs Punklag ‎– Du Er Eit Svin! - Self Released PS.EN - 1977

Apparently the first punk record in Norway was by a parody group. Comedy music trio Prima Vera called themselves Punk Council and did a 'God Save The Queen' cover, loosely translated into 'You Are A Bastard,' on one side and on the other side a cover of the Who's 'I'm a Boy' called something like 'I Just Sit Here Bored.' Prima Vera included both songs on their RCA LP of the same year.

Rubberen Robbie ‎– Geef Mij Maar Drank - CNR 141.465 - 1978

Four years after Catapult's "Let Your Hair Hang Down," the group called it quits. Its members went on to make 50 or so more records of various parody music flavors under a handful of different names. The first was as Rubberen Robbie whose first single translates as Give Me A Drink and discusses the ups and downs of drunkenness via a reasonable facsimile of Ca Plane Pour Moi.

David Peel & Death ‎– King Of Punk - Orange Records Ltd. ‎– ORA-700 - 1978

Hippy makes punk record. Decades later makes web page, declares list of favorites.

Favorite Band or Musician: David Peel & The Lower East Side
Favorite TV show: The Simpsons
Favorite movie: West Side Story
Favorite book: 1984 -- George Orwell
Favorite sports team: Bonghitters
Favorite food: Ice Cream

Charlotte Julian ‎– Bazooka Boum Boum (La Reine Des Punks) - Sonopresse ‎– 2S 008-16605 - 1978

Not satisfied with a mere safety pin earring, Charlotte Julian also had to be pictured with them in her hair. Who are we to judge? The song title declares her the queen of punks. It seems that the lyrics tell a rags to rhinestones story of a poor girl being transformed into a punk rock singer by a rich impresario. She's instructed to be nasty and scream when she sings, and she's dressed up in pretty safety pins, but then the story takes a turn:

I sang in the capitals,
And I made all casinos
With my rhinestone with my feathers
Charleroi in Pamplona.
Everywhere crowds, frantic.
But when I asked for my money,
The impresario said, Pardonk?
We do not pay the queen of "ponks."