Girls & Boys - Helge's 87 - Andrew Mountain Records - AMR-2001 - 1987

It appears Sweden has recreational cafes that are equipped with musical instruments and rehearsal spaces for 10 to 16 year-olds to use. The 2013 movie 'We Are The Best' had something like this. Sometimes they record the groups and in 1987 one such cafe in Gävle, Sweden called Helge's put out this record. A lot of the older kids featured were into heavy metal and were skilled at playing their instruments, but their recordings are nowhere near as interesting as the younger, inexperienced kids' attempts at synth-pop and punk. It's not unlike the girls playing their song 'Hate The Sport' in the aforementioned movie.




Secret Metal - The Cop

Minimax - Disconight

Pink Babycats - The Hunting

Mix Music - Let's Go

Boundstone School Presents Gynt On The Rocks - Self Released - HAS LP 4076 - 1978

The liner notes:
"The production which we present for you on this record is a new show based on Isben's epic story 'Peer Gynt'. It has been re-written and updated with original music written by an ex-pupil of the school, Paul Rogers.
The show involves a company of well over one hundred pupils from the school in all areas of production, actors, technicians, make-up artists, set builders and costume makers.
Peer Gynt is a rebel teenager who, after finding himself in a great deal of trouble, journeys to London where he finds himself in the midst of the Punk Rock scene and then travels to Hollywood where he becomes involved in the making of a film. He eventually meets his downfall, although of course, we endeavour to bring you a happy ending".

Nadine Expert - It's Up To You - AB Productions - A.B.P. 300001 - 1979

Perhaps the best song by Nadine Expert is 'Let Me Play With My Doll,' arranged by library whiz Benoît Kaufman and written by Jean-Luc Azoulay (under the name Jean-François Porry) who is responsible for a number of children's records throughout the 80's not to mention Computer.

Pierô - Quelle Époque Épique Et Punk - Eurodisc 911 197 - 1979

According to google translate, the song opens like this:

Hi guys (yeah)
Your guitars are out of tune? (yeah)
Today we will make punque (yeah)
Forward, the infernal machine
Ein, zwei, drei, quatre






Other amusing lines:

A safety pin planted in cheek, here does not hurt me
(It hurts me a lot)

It is my life punk overdose

I fall back into the immeasurable emptiness of my ephemeral nihilism!

And my royalties and my copyright, you know what I do, huh? You know what I'm going to do with all that dough? Well I'm happy to cash in! I'm still not punk at this point.

Stéfan - J'suis Pas Méchant / Zéro Tic - Vogue ‎45.X.1146 - 1979

Plastic Bertrand and François George (Friswa) wrote these songs, and Bertrand produced it. Stefan, the adorable miniature Plastic Bertrand on vocals only has one record apparently, although I think there's at least a chance that he could also be the Stephane who worked with Plastic Bertrand in the Abbacadabra musical where Plastic Bertrand played Pinocchio. That same Stephane also raps. I'm just saying it's possible and that I hope it's the same person.

J'suis Pas Méchant translates as I'm Not Naughty and the song includes a line where Stefan says he no longer wets the bed. Zéro Tic is more of a play on words.

Zéro-mantique

Zéro-quefort

Zéro-ck'n'roll

Zéro-lling Stones

...and so on. Which makes the song title a pretty risque thing for a child to sing about. One line, "mes Mercredis sont classés X" translates into "my Wednesdays are rated X."

The line "Zéro de cuir" or Zero leather, seems fitting, as this is entirely plastic.

Michael O'Brien & John Elk - How To Speak Modern - Gamera Records GR - 001 - 1980

From the record: "this is a primer for the new language for modern living for English speaking people who want to be understood by and talk to punk rockers, art students, computer programmers, and generally speaking, the avant-garde." The liner notes state that this is "inspired by and dedicated to Del Close & John Brent," for their How To Speak Hip record of 1961. The liner notes also credit the "music on punk & new wave by Spys © 1980."

Various - The Insane Darrell Wayne's No Disco Album - BOMP! ‎BLP 4006 - 1979

The Insane Darrell Wayne must've held a contest for bands to submit anti-disco songs and picked the best for this comp.There's more than a few duds, and a Bags pseudonym (Sgab From the Planet Zed) that's so-so, and much of the low points the record come from the bands trying to mockingly emulate disco in some way. And much of the high points come from apparent Devo-worship. Case in point: 'Love Train' by Cap'N Crisco & The Disco Ninnies.

Flash Boyancy seem to be doing 'My Sharona' via Devo, with plenty of turd gags in 'Disco Defecation.'



Ground Zero's intentionally undance-able 'Dance With The Machines' is less soothing than the Normal's 'Warm Leatherette' and seems most critical of the disco culture with great lines such as "you say this music's an inferno, but I don't see a fire, I see a floor of slave units, trendy sequined robots programmed by the beat, programmed to dance."



Perhaps the USA's drum-machine led answer to Chris Spedding's 'Pogo Dancing' is Cindy & The Gidget Haters' 'Pogoin's For Me.'



The back of the sleeve explains the record:

"It is so expressed that our distaste for disco music has grown to the point of outward expression and so, being intelligent individuals, we have chosen the vehicle of entertainment to attempt a non-violent approach to convey the concept of "No Disco." The songs on this album were selected as the best from an immense pile of "No Disco" music submitted to KROQ. They are the honest expression of a generation with its own music to make. We make no apologies for any of it - it may be rude, crude, rough, raw, and even bad... but it's better than disco!"

- Darrell Wayne

KROQ FM

Enrique Y Ana ‎- Las Aventuras De Enrique Y Ana - Hispavox S 60.680 - 1981

The synopsis for this movie sounds interesting. Enrique is a gymnastics teacher and his sister Ana is a student at the same school. Enrique gets laid off and Ana flees with him to the castle of their grandfather. Their grandfather is Professor Osborne, a great scientist trying to stop the evil Baron Von Nekruch from obtaining an artifact that would put the whole world at risk. Based on the little I've seen of the movie, it seems like (and I sure hope) the plan is to defeat evil with a battle of the bands or a talent show. It has some very interesting clips.







But easily the most inserting part of the movie is when little-kid punk air-band called 'Los Punkitos' is announced and they sing 'Caca Culo Pedo Pis' which translates as 'Poop Pee Fart Ass.'




 The song from the LP:

The Cold Crush Brothers - Punk Rock Rap - Tuff City ‎4Z9-03898 - 1983

This rap song opens up with a fellow asking his lady friend to answer the door, both using an poorly imitated British accent. She's terrified by something she calls the 'punk rush,' whatever that means.

Instant Funk - Looks So Fine - Salsoul Records SA 8545 - 1982

The last song on this record is called Punk Rockin' but it certainly isn't. The lyrics seem to describe a dance but I can't see any connection to punk whatsoever.

Graham Preskett ‎- Sunburst - KPM Music KPM 1267 - 1981

Not all library music references to punk are created equal.

Toni Santagata - I Love The Punk (Ai, Lavete Punk) - Carosello CI 20459 - 1978

Toni loves the punk, just not as much as disco.

The Rotten Eggs - Punk Nursery Rhymes - Golden Editions TVNZ-9 - 1981

A fan of 'The Newz' writes about how 'The Rotten Eggs - Punk Nursery Rhymes' came to be:

"I’d been up to Tandem Studios about five years earlier, as a member of ‘The Newz’ fanclub. The band was briefly back from Melbourne and were recording’ Punk nursery rhymes ‘ as ‘The Rotten Eggs’ for Music World. They were making the songs up as they went along. I’d not known you could do that."

Dr. Sadistic And The Silverking Crybabies ‎- Pyramid Punk - Hospital Records 81611 - 1980

Probably the best thing about this record is the phony medical records included in the insert. And probably the worst thing is the music.

Flint And Wozo - 25 Years Of Pop - Music DeWolfe ‎DWS/LP 3466 - 1981

The punk song on this fairly self-explanatory library record is the second time Colin Tucker and John Hyde got punky together for DeWolfe with 'Who Do You Think You Are?'

Wozo - Chartbreakers - Music De Wolfe ‎- DWS/LP 3513 - 1983

Prolific library composer John Hyde is responsible for this record full of pop and rock styles of various eras. Anarchy is the token punk song.

Flint And Wozo / Colin Lloyd Band ‎– Badly Bruised, Slightly Stoned - Music De Wolfe ‎– DWS/LP 3394 - 1978

Colin Tucker and John Hyde teamed for this library record for De Wolfe. The most interesting songs are Punk Rock, Chat Show and Badly Bruised, Slightly Stoned.

Three Souls In My Mind ‎- Fiumos, Somos Y Seremos - Peerless E-16055-0 - 1987

Blues-rock band 'Three Souls In My Mind' did the Intrepidos Punks theme for the biker-punk 1983 film of the same name, but didn't release it on a record until this one came out in 1987.

Les Marylènes - Le Beau Tetard Sur Son Cigare - Vogue 107-45.V.159 EC - 1978

After Martin Circus released the Beach Boys 'Barbara-Anne' cover song 'Marylene', the band was accompanied by a dancing troupe called Les Marylènes. I read that they were backed by the band Bulldozer, which is basically a bunch of Martin Circus members anyway, but this is the best thing Bulldozer ever did if that's true.







A bad translation of the lyrics:

Hey hey! You see there on his cigar? 
Hey hey! You see what I see? The beautiful tadpole! 

More than a flashy slot 
Plastic jacket, helmeted, gloved, wolf eyes 
This boy makes tilt in our hearts 
When we see him tumble down on his chopper 

He is great, he pep, a star next 
There is extra super extra ... 

It is the king who defeated the union 
The President of the kingdom Shanty Happiness 
Oxygen from those who love fresh air 
Jam Fly girls leaving their mother 

He is great, he pep, a star next 
There is extra super extra ... 

Hey! Hey hey! Hey! Hey hey! 
Hey! Hey hey! Hey! Hey hey! 

Hey hey! You see there on his cigar? 
Hey hey! You see what I see? The beautiful tadpole! 

They say he drag his bike 
Too bad for us, we hovered a little too! 
Against a girl, we had a chance 
Against his machine, of course, is lost in advance 

He is great, he pep, a star next 
There is extra super extra ... 

The beautiful tadpole, it is great on his cigar! 
The beautiful tadpole, he pep, a star next.

Bulldozer - Bulldozer - RCA PL 37161 - 1978

Some members of Martin Circus formed a punk band. The songs on their two singles appear on their first LP, which is sometimes named  J'suis Punk due to the image of Adolf saying the phrase on the cover. It would probably be more suitably named J'suis Hard-Pop-Rock, but they name drop Sex Pistols in a song, therefore, punk!










Their second album is mostly blues rock but contains what might be their best song, Flip Integral.

Marie Marie - Do You Do You Brush Your Teeth - Vogue - 101 380 RKM - 1980

In 1979, Jay Alanski, together with the minds behind Plastic Bertrand/Elton Motello greatness Alan Ward, Mike Butcher and Lou Deprijck, worked with Teenie, a bilingual and very cool looking young lady, and recorded the same single twice, once in English and once in French. I assume these 50's ballads didn't take off, so they returned to the punk well with Do You Do You Brush Your Teeth. The song is beyond catchy, and Teenie really emphasized her British accent on this recording. Grasshopper, on the B side has interesting lyrics which I think are sung from the point of view of a grasshopper, but doesn't compare to the A side.

Marie-France - Déréglée - Romantik Records ‎- EDE 2 - 1977

Fascinating character Marie-France teamed up with Patrick Arondel and Hagen Dierks to record this punky single on the short-lived but incredible Romantik Records label. Patrick Arondel was an alias of Jay Alanski.